Seasonal Update

Oh dear - its been a while, well here's a little update on us...

An amazing Christmas time was had by us.  We celebrated advent as a family together, took part in carol services, the school productions and the Christmas parties.  The children were off a week before Christmas so in this time we made decorations (snowglobes and name settings), lots and lots of mince pies, followed by jam tarts, saw Arthur Christmas at the cinema and had fun.  It wasn't always stress free though as the boys were very excited about Christmas coming! Christmas Eve was amazing as a Saturday Jon was not working so we had a lovely family day.  We got all the prep done and went for a lovely walk at Hamworthy beach.  Trying to run off all the pre-Christmas excitement.  We then came home and I cooked the boys favourite meal, on our Christmas decorated table.  We then did bath, bible and hot chocolate time before bed.

Christmas started with me waking up about 5.30am (as I was really excited).  My husband made us tea and we waited for the boys to descend.  Yes my husband thinks I'm crazy but he knows i get really excited about Christmas!  All the hard work in choosing the presents I can't wait for them to open them and be blessed.  The eldest came in about 6.30am and was followed by the others around 7am.  We were thankful they did not come in through the night, however son number 2 had trouble sleeping and got upset as he thought Christmas would never come.  We enjoyed stockings, present, church, goose and family presents.  We then played and enjoyed being with one another.  The days afterwards have been spent with the boys playing with their new toys whilst Jon and I prepare the room for when the new floor will be laid.  We had a flood and the insurance has now been sorted out so we will begin the work in the new year.  However it means we're living a bit chaotically.  This is good for me as I need to learn to put aside my preference for perfection.

Well the decorations are now down, the celebrations have finished but we look forward to welcoming in the new year, with gladness and hope with Jesus in our hearts! 

Preparing for advent

Well it won't be long till Christmas now!!!  I know some of you maybe tutting as its not even December but advent starts in November (4 Sundays before Christmas) so this is when we start our preparations.

I love all things Christmassy - i love the decorations, the food, buying gifts, doing the cards, the carols, the plays, the social events... not so keen on wrapping but I have a husband who enjoys that.  I started present shopping ages ago.  This is because I enjoy being organised, I enjoy getting bargains and I would rather spend December concentrating on Jesus. 

This year we have decided the best way to communicate the truth of Christmas is by having a special family advent time together, each Sunday of advent.  The run upto Christmas is usually really busy and Jons workload seems to increase.  Sundays are the best day for our whole family to be together and its important that this is not something that I just do with the children but for us all to be included.  We want to prepare our childrens hearts for the true meaning of Christmas and why this is an exciting time for us.  We do different things each year (some years are busier than others).

The plan - The first Sunday is Hope.  We are going to have a nice breakfast together, light our first advent candle. We are planning on reading a passage from the bible about hope, how Jesus is light of the world, to discuss the symbolism in why we do what we do and then an activity.  As our children range from 1-8 we will probably have a colour in activity sheet based on what we're discussing. 

This year instead of the chocolate advent calendars, we have a build the nativity scene calendar.  We will do this each morning and allow them to choose a sweetie from the Heroes tin ( i think the chocolates in the tin taste nicer than the advent ones).

We hope to build happy lasting memories over advent with our children...

Delight in loving... 4

As your children get older, physically they need less care (it turns into just reminding them to wash, change clothes etc) and is physically easier (just gets harder emotionally). However with this ease, life changes - with the independence it becomes easier to bring back your old hobbies and return to work. The rhythm of life changes.  The need to stay focused on the middle years is important.  Its the bridge to teens.  In these years they will remember and they will see you live out your faith.  They will learn from you what you really believe and if you apply it to your life.

I have 2 school aged children and 2 at home.  I know the physical demands of a baby, toddler and preschooler.  I know its physically demanding and requires a lot of patience.  It is also fairly simple in comparison to the next stages as you are their main influence.  However as they reach each new stage it is harder to know the best approach. 

I live in a house of boys and whilst they are under 5, mummy is number 1! They love to play any game with you.  As they get older, boys need their dad more and more.  They want to learn what it is to be a man - their dad is their best teacher.  Their games become rough and tumble more frequent, no matter how calm the game started out.  Everything turns into a gun, or sore hands (as the action figures have war).  They like to build, play sports and explore, which I like to encourage - I want my boys to be boys - however it is hard.  I personally am not outdoorsy, have no interest in sports at all - in fact i would say i hate all sports especially watching them on TV. I didn't have brothers and have no idea how to really play action figures with them especially war type games.  I enjoy art, dancing, shopping, spa time, make-up, cooking, making a house to a home - well all things girly.  The things I enjoy, do not even come up as a small blip on their radar of interest.  It is hard living in a house of aliens. 

Whilst I could type and grumble about how hard it is, I am so blessed to have these boys, to have 4 children! They have been given to me by God as gifts.  I want to have a relationship with them - not in a dutiful way but a real relationship throughout their lives.  I want to model to them what a Godly wife and mother is, I am their first experience of woman.  How tender or distant I am with them will have a real impact on their future relationships.  Sometimes it will require sacrifice from me, as I learn to engage in their interests, to show them that I am interested in them - sometimes it will involve them sacrificing some of their wants to learn and build a relationship with me.  Either way this is all possible through love and when I feel a bit downhearted about being the only girl - I know i have a loving God who I can pray too and to remind me how precious the gift of motherhood is. 

I may live in a house full of boys but that does not mean I am 1) in anyway a tomboy and enjoy male activities 2) that I understand them.  There are times when I think why? but I know God will give me grace to get through it.  There are times when I really enjoy it, I love their cheeky expressions, their unique perspective on life, they are all so cuddly and loving with me.  There are lots of benefits to having children all the same sex and I love having a big family.  I am truly thankful for them.

Delight in Loving... 3

The delight of loving your children.  I love my boys to bits but delight is not always a word I would use...

When they are young and just babies, holding them in your arms is so precious.  Its hard to believe you could ever be cross or upset with them.  They are perfect.  As they get older and sleepless nights kick in, juggling the constant demand of their needs, your husbands, your home, being Godly - life can get harder.  When they are younger it is so physically demanding to be constantly watching and guiding. 

My advise would be to take a break and not feel guilty.  Plan to get away, if your blessed enough to have 24 hours with your husband fantastic, if not maybe on your own (or with a friend) whilst your husband has bonding time with them.  Its important to have time away from the home and the demands, just to be yourself and have fun.  This takes away a lot of the stresses and you come back ready to serve them - delightfully!

I think its also good to have time out from your children and husband to have a spiritual review.  Time with God, to have refreshment.  I have found this of great worth.  Previously I have had a babysitter for a couple of hours but you could swap babysitting with a friend during the day (so you can both be encouraged) to have quality time with God.  The idea of spending time away from my children never really appealed but I was convinced to try by one of my Titus 2 women and it has been invaluable. 

When I have a review with God - this is what I tend to do.  I am quite an organised person and I like to write, so for me pen, paper bible are my essential tools.  I pray and ask for help of the Holy Spirit.  I then ask 3 questions for each of the priority areas of my life - What am I doing? Whats going well? and What needs to change?  The priorities I use are:

1. Growing in Godliness
2. My Husband
3. My family
4. Serving the church
5. Fellowship with Christians
6. Fellowship with non Christians
7. My work
8. Care for physical health

There is no doubt room for improvement in all these areas to be made (for me) but after I have gone through the areas, I ask God what I should concentrate on for now.  I then write out a plan to help me grow in that area/s (1-2 areas max as not superwoman) of focus. 

I find it helpful to pray over each of these areas and ask God for guidance in what I do.  I think its important to do this otherwise I would just drift aimlessly. I have also learnt so much and some problems are easily solved just by being removed from the situation and having time to think about it.  I do a review about 1-2 times a year.  This helps me greatly, having refreshment with God, committing my plans and life to Him and also I come back ready to serve with a new store of grace. Try it!

Delight in Loving... 2

I have recently just read Let me be a woman by Elisabeth Elliot.  I found this a really positive book in delighting to love my husband. 

The book is a mother writing to her daughter ,who is engaged, and is about to be married.  She writes to her about what it is like to be married and how to be a Godly wife.  It is a short book and is easy to read and grasp.  Although I have been married for 9 years, the writer uncovers truths about biblical man and womanhood which I found really inspiring.

Today so many things can be clouded and its hard to see the truth but this is a very clear book, based on biblical truths regarding being a godly woman in marriage.  I particularly liked the chapter - You marry a man (obviously I know my husband is a man) but the writer goes on to say how you married a man and therefore can not expect him to be a woman and notice things that women do.  It really made me think about how different men and women are but how Gods glorious design is made perfect in those differences.

Its inspired me to be less critical and more loving about the little things...

Halloween

Its that time of year again where the shops try and sell us the idea of a fun Halloween, where people have parties and kids are begging at the door for sweeties. 

When I was younger,  Halloween seemed fun and sometimes we did a Halloween night with our family and sometimes we didn't. If we did, we'd dress up, play little games and drink green lemonade.  It certainly wasn't as commercialised as it is today, and if we didn't do it, we weren't really missing out on anything.  We were never allowed to go trick or treating and we heard awful reports of those who did, ie when they (property owner) didn't give a treat, they'd have awful things happen to their property.

Now I'm a christian and an adult, I don't celebrate it nor do i encourage my children too.  Trick or treaters are met with a friendly - no thank-you or we tend not to answer the door.  Party invitations are RSVP no thank-you.

My husband and I discussed Halloween and we decided not to celebrate it purely because we are Christians, so why would we partake in it? We don't celebrate any other religions festivals so why would we celebrate or feel we should join in with this pagan one?  The bible says to stay away from all witchcraft, this is what we intend to do.  We don't go round preaching to others that they are wrong to celebrate it because if they have never heard the gospel, then stopping them from having fun does not really portray the message of Gods grace and goodness.  Of course if they ask, then we will explain and have the chance to share the gospel with them willing to listen.

We researched what Halloween was, how it was a celebration of new year for pagans and how it has changed over the years.  We saw no benefit in being a part of this.  This is why;

• We don't want our children dressing up as devils/ghouls spirits etc.  We want to bring them up to know that they are real and not to soften their hearts towards them.  By soften their hearts, I mean we don't want them to think of them as harmless fun.  We don't want them to go the other way and be scared of them, as Jesus is in authority over all.
• We do not want our children to be a nuisance to our neighbours and to encourage them to beg for sweets or suffer a consequence (trick).  Trick or treaters normally come when I'm making the kids dinner, tidying up or putting them to bed.  It is a nuisance when I have to stop to answer the door.
• We also feel it is not safe for them to go knocking on strangers doors, in a group or not. 
• We don't want them to accept sweets from strangers.
• We don't want to bow down to commercialism.  This was not a normal part of our culture.  The shops sell the idea, people sign up and then children are often disappointed that no one answers the door or its the same group of children knocking on your door for more sweeties.
• We don't want to encourage greed, we don't want them to think its ok to let go of your values for sweeties.
• We want them to be proud of being a christian.  Rather than today's society of a mish mash culture, picking and choosing whatever they like, I want them to have strength to stand up say no and know who they are in Christ.  There will be many times when they will be pressured into joining in with the culture around them, this is a training opportunity.
• We have Christmas round the corner, which is a much better holiday!

Currently, our children are quite young and they don't feel they are missing out on anything.  We don't feel the need to do anything in replacement - we don't do alternative nights for other religion festivals.  We talk to them about Halloween and explain to them why we don't partake.  They are happy to accept this.  In the future, if this changes, then we will hold firm to our beliefs but meet them in grace and perhaps go to a light party or do something at home for them.

Half term...

I am currently experiencing a very busy season - time is moving so fast.  I'm running around like a madman, time has become so precious and it disappears quickly! We have just landed into half term and I thought this would be a slow paced week but it turns out even though I didn't really plan anything, there is much to do!

During this half term we have felt the full force of the blustery October winds at hamworthy beach, a movie afternoon (popcorn and Narnia) to recover from being blown to pieces! Tuesday we met with a friend, as well as place a carpet order, followed by a lovely birthday party lunch with friends. Wednesday was the Tank museum day - its these kinds of activities I wish I had girls instead, but I know the boys enjoyed it so therefore its worth it (tanks are not my thing), Thursday my little N had his friend over to play and Friday I was moving Little Gators from the hall to the church, with lots of help, including my boys!

Before I knew it, half term gone and back on the landslide to Christmas - which reminds me I have shopping to do and fit in somewhere???? Long gone are those care-free summer holidays but its certainly a busy and full life being a wife and mother....