Preparing for advent

Well it won't be long till Christmas now!!!  I know some of you maybe tutting as its not even December but advent starts in November (4 Sundays before Christmas) so this is when we start our preparations.

I love all things Christmassy - i love the decorations, the food, buying gifts, doing the cards, the carols, the plays, the social events... not so keen on wrapping but I have a husband who enjoys that.  I started present shopping ages ago.  This is because I enjoy being organised, I enjoy getting bargains and I would rather spend December concentrating on Jesus. 

This year we have decided the best way to communicate the truth of Christmas is by having a special family advent time together, each Sunday of advent.  The run upto Christmas is usually really busy and Jons workload seems to increase.  Sundays are the best day for our whole family to be together and its important that this is not something that I just do with the children but for us all to be included.  We want to prepare our childrens hearts for the true meaning of Christmas and why this is an exciting time for us.  We do different things each year (some years are busier than others).

The plan - The first Sunday is Hope.  We are going to have a nice breakfast together, light our first advent candle. We are planning on reading a passage from the bible about hope, how Jesus is light of the world, to discuss the symbolism in why we do what we do and then an activity.  As our children range from 1-8 we will probably have a colour in activity sheet based on what we're discussing. 

This year instead of the chocolate advent calendars, we have a build the nativity scene calendar.  We will do this each morning and allow them to choose a sweetie from the Heroes tin ( i think the chocolates in the tin taste nicer than the advent ones).

We hope to build happy lasting memories over advent with our children...

Delight in loving... 4

As your children get older, physically they need less care (it turns into just reminding them to wash, change clothes etc) and is physically easier (just gets harder emotionally). However with this ease, life changes - with the independence it becomes easier to bring back your old hobbies and return to work. The rhythm of life changes.  The need to stay focused on the middle years is important.  Its the bridge to teens.  In these years they will remember and they will see you live out your faith.  They will learn from you what you really believe and if you apply it to your life.

I have 2 school aged children and 2 at home.  I know the physical demands of a baby, toddler and preschooler.  I know its physically demanding and requires a lot of patience.  It is also fairly simple in comparison to the next stages as you are their main influence.  However as they reach each new stage it is harder to know the best approach. 

I live in a house of boys and whilst they are under 5, mummy is number 1! They love to play any game with you.  As they get older, boys need their dad more and more.  They want to learn what it is to be a man - their dad is their best teacher.  Their games become rough and tumble more frequent, no matter how calm the game started out.  Everything turns into a gun, or sore hands (as the action figures have war).  They like to build, play sports and explore, which I like to encourage - I want my boys to be boys - however it is hard.  I personally am not outdoorsy, have no interest in sports at all - in fact i would say i hate all sports especially watching them on TV. I didn't have brothers and have no idea how to really play action figures with them especially war type games.  I enjoy art, dancing, shopping, spa time, make-up, cooking, making a house to a home - well all things girly.  The things I enjoy, do not even come up as a small blip on their radar of interest.  It is hard living in a house of aliens. 

Whilst I could type and grumble about how hard it is, I am so blessed to have these boys, to have 4 children! They have been given to me by God as gifts.  I want to have a relationship with them - not in a dutiful way but a real relationship throughout their lives.  I want to model to them what a Godly wife and mother is, I am their first experience of woman.  How tender or distant I am with them will have a real impact on their future relationships.  Sometimes it will require sacrifice from me, as I learn to engage in their interests, to show them that I am interested in them - sometimes it will involve them sacrificing some of their wants to learn and build a relationship with me.  Either way this is all possible through love and when I feel a bit downhearted about being the only girl - I know i have a loving God who I can pray too and to remind me how precious the gift of motherhood is. 

I may live in a house full of boys but that does not mean I am 1) in anyway a tomboy and enjoy male activities 2) that I understand them.  There are times when I think why? but I know God will give me grace to get through it.  There are times when I really enjoy it, I love their cheeky expressions, their unique perspective on life, they are all so cuddly and loving with me.  There are lots of benefits to having children all the same sex and I love having a big family.  I am truly thankful for them.

Delight in Loving... 3

The delight of loving your children.  I love my boys to bits but delight is not always a word I would use...

When they are young and just babies, holding them in your arms is so precious.  Its hard to believe you could ever be cross or upset with them.  They are perfect.  As they get older and sleepless nights kick in, juggling the constant demand of their needs, your husbands, your home, being Godly - life can get harder.  When they are younger it is so physically demanding to be constantly watching and guiding. 

My advise would be to take a break and not feel guilty.  Plan to get away, if your blessed enough to have 24 hours with your husband fantastic, if not maybe on your own (or with a friend) whilst your husband has bonding time with them.  Its important to have time away from the home and the demands, just to be yourself and have fun.  This takes away a lot of the stresses and you come back ready to serve them - delightfully!

I think its also good to have time out from your children and husband to have a spiritual review.  Time with God, to have refreshment.  I have found this of great worth.  Previously I have had a babysitter for a couple of hours but you could swap babysitting with a friend during the day (so you can both be encouraged) to have quality time with God.  The idea of spending time away from my children never really appealed but I was convinced to try by one of my Titus 2 women and it has been invaluable. 

When I have a review with God - this is what I tend to do.  I am quite an organised person and I like to write, so for me pen, paper bible are my essential tools.  I pray and ask for help of the Holy Spirit.  I then ask 3 questions for each of the priority areas of my life - What am I doing? Whats going well? and What needs to change?  The priorities I use are:

1. Growing in Godliness
2. My Husband
3. My family
4. Serving the church
5. Fellowship with Christians
6. Fellowship with non Christians
7. My work
8. Care for physical health

There is no doubt room for improvement in all these areas to be made (for me) but after I have gone through the areas, I ask God what I should concentrate on for now.  I then write out a plan to help me grow in that area/s (1-2 areas max as not superwoman) of focus. 

I find it helpful to pray over each of these areas and ask God for guidance in what I do.  I think its important to do this otherwise I would just drift aimlessly. I have also learnt so much and some problems are easily solved just by being removed from the situation and having time to think about it.  I do a review about 1-2 times a year.  This helps me greatly, having refreshment with God, committing my plans and life to Him and also I come back ready to serve with a new store of grace. Try it!

Delight in Loving... 2

I have recently just read Let me be a woman by Elisabeth Elliot.  I found this a really positive book in delighting to love my husband. 

The book is a mother writing to her daughter ,who is engaged, and is about to be married.  She writes to her about what it is like to be married and how to be a Godly wife.  It is a short book and is easy to read and grasp.  Although I have been married for 9 years, the writer uncovers truths about biblical man and womanhood which I found really inspiring.

Today so many things can be clouded and its hard to see the truth but this is a very clear book, based on biblical truths regarding being a godly woman in marriage.  I particularly liked the chapter - You marry a man (obviously I know my husband is a man) but the writer goes on to say how you married a man and therefore can not expect him to be a woman and notice things that women do.  It really made me think about how different men and women are but how Gods glorious design is made perfect in those differences.

Its inspired me to be less critical and more loving about the little things...