Halloween

Its that time of year again where the shops try and sell us the idea of a fun Halloween, where people have parties and kids are begging at the door for sweeties. 

When I was younger,  Halloween seemed fun and sometimes we did a Halloween night with our family and sometimes we didn't. If we did, we'd dress up, play little games and drink green lemonade.  It certainly wasn't as commercialised as it is today, and if we didn't do it, we weren't really missing out on anything.  We were never allowed to go trick or treating and we heard awful reports of those who did, ie when they (property owner) didn't give a treat, they'd have awful things happen to their property.

Now I'm a christian and an adult, I don't celebrate it nor do i encourage my children too.  Trick or treaters are met with a friendly - no thank-you or we tend not to answer the door.  Party invitations are RSVP no thank-you.

My husband and I discussed Halloween and we decided not to celebrate it purely because we are Christians, so why would we partake in it? We don't celebrate any other religions festivals so why would we celebrate or feel we should join in with this pagan one?  The bible says to stay away from all witchcraft, this is what we intend to do.  We don't go round preaching to others that they are wrong to celebrate it because if they have never heard the gospel, then stopping them from having fun does not really portray the message of Gods grace and goodness.  Of course if they ask, then we will explain and have the chance to share the gospel with them willing to listen.

We researched what Halloween was, how it was a celebration of new year for pagans and how it has changed over the years.  We saw no benefit in being a part of this.  This is why;

• We don't want our children dressing up as devils/ghouls spirits etc.  We want to bring them up to know that they are real and not to soften their hearts towards them.  By soften their hearts, I mean we don't want them to think of them as harmless fun.  We don't want them to go the other way and be scared of them, as Jesus is in authority over all.
• We do not want our children to be a nuisance to our neighbours and to encourage them to beg for sweets or suffer a consequence (trick).  Trick or treaters normally come when I'm making the kids dinner, tidying up or putting them to bed.  It is a nuisance when I have to stop to answer the door.
• We also feel it is not safe for them to go knocking on strangers doors, in a group or not. 
• We don't want them to accept sweets from strangers.
• We don't want to bow down to commercialism.  This was not a normal part of our culture.  The shops sell the idea, people sign up and then children are often disappointed that no one answers the door or its the same group of children knocking on your door for more sweeties.
• We don't want to encourage greed, we don't want them to think its ok to let go of your values for sweeties.
• We want them to be proud of being a christian.  Rather than today's society of a mish mash culture, picking and choosing whatever they like, I want them to have strength to stand up say no and know who they are in Christ.  There will be many times when they will be pressured into joining in with the culture around them, this is a training opportunity.
• We have Christmas round the corner, which is a much better holiday!

Currently, our children are quite young and they don't feel they are missing out on anything.  We don't feel the need to do anything in replacement - we don't do alternative nights for other religion festivals.  We talk to them about Halloween and explain to them why we don't partake.  They are happy to accept this.  In the future, if this changes, then we will hold firm to our beliefs but meet them in grace and perhaps go to a light party or do something at home for them.

Half term...

I am currently experiencing a very busy season - time is moving so fast.  I'm running around like a madman, time has become so precious and it disappears quickly! We have just landed into half term and I thought this would be a slow paced week but it turns out even though I didn't really plan anything, there is much to do!

During this half term we have felt the full force of the blustery October winds at hamworthy beach, a movie afternoon (popcorn and Narnia) to recover from being blown to pieces! Tuesday we met with a friend, as well as place a carpet order, followed by a lovely birthday party lunch with friends. Wednesday was the Tank museum day - its these kinds of activities I wish I had girls instead, but I know the boys enjoyed it so therefore its worth it (tanks are not my thing), Thursday my little N had his friend over to play and Friday I was moving Little Gators from the hall to the church, with lots of help, including my boys!

Before I knew it, half term gone and back on the landslide to Christmas - which reminds me I have shopping to do and fit in somewhere???? Long gone are those care-free summer holidays but its certainly a busy and full life being a wife and mother....

Delight in loving...

As part of getting disciplined with God I am currently attending Feminine Appeal book study group.  It is a great encouragement in being a godly woman.  This week was all about the delight in loving your husband.

With all the demands of life, the chaos of looking after children and the home, the commitments outside of the home, I find it quite easy to put the 'delight of loving' on the back burner.  I am more than happy doing things for and serving my husband but remembering to take pleasure in it and cultivating tenderness requires more from me.  Its not a case of 'well he doesn't do this or that for me' but delight in loving him as God has asked me to do (Titus 2).  Its about me laying down my desires and doing what I know is right - to follow Jesus.  When doing this study, we looked at what is love, our cultural perceptions as well as learning that this study is about us and not a time to grumble about our husbands.  We can control our actions and words but not our husbands, so we are to work on our hearts through this study. 

For inspiration I look to the cross - Jesus died for my sins and I am forgiven because of Him.  Jesus does not come to me with a complaint list about how I'm not measuring up to his ideals, He is full of love, grace and compassion.  Jesus is not hard or so focused on the task at hand, that there is no time for others.  I have lots still to learn in loving but I know I have an amazing saviour who I can come to for help and guidance to cultivate a delight of love.

I enjoyed reading through the different creative ways wives showed love to their husbands, with notes, gifts or prayers.  Its really good to learn your husbands love language and indulge him in your love.  At the end of the study we have a take home exercise - this week I will be thinking of creative ways to show my husband the tenderness of my love for him, in a way that he will appreciate and understand.  I will not focus on my needs/desires but put God first and cherish my husband.

Titus 2:4  and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.

The Home...

I have called this the Home rather than the House, as the house is all about the structure and the home is about the work I do in it daily. 

The home - some of us like it tidy, clean and organised all the time, others not so.  I am someone who falls into the first category.  I like my home to smell nice and I like it to be clean - dirt is the enemy.  I don't like dust, smears, fingerprints or crumbs.  I would be more than happy living in a showroom surrounded by nice things, puffed up cushions, homely touches (thinking shabby chic vintage look) and beautiful art work.  That would be my 'ideal' of how my home should look. 

However, I want a home with a heart.  I really want my home to be a place where you can relax, have friends over, a place where celebrations and fun happen, good memories are made, a place where you feel welcome and can be yourself.  Unfortunately my 'sterile show home' ideal and the heart for my home don't really mix...

As you know, I live in a house of 4 boys plus one husband (who I will class as a 'not so') so the reality of living in a show home, is really just not reality for me.  I find it really hard not to give in to my urge of wanting everything in the home 'my way'.  The decor etc is usually left to me to decide.  I have a design background so I can often dream up and design beautiful things, however keeping them that way, doesn't happen naturally and needs a lot of cleaning/maintenance.  Whilst part of me would like this to be my main responsibility, so I can live in organised, beautiful cleanliness.  I am not called to be 'caretaker' of a home but am called to be a Godly woman, wife and mother.  Whilst working at home is part of my calling (my work) it is not to be to the detriment of everything else.  I have to get my priorities right.

I have spent many times worrying or feeling anxious over the state of the cleanliness/tidiness of my house.  I just hate mess and dirt but its killing me trying to do all this and still be everything else I am meant to be.  I sort counsel from the Bible and a Titus 2 woman.  I am to submit to my husband and this is not important to him, so I can be freed from this.  He would rather I spent my time doing other things.  Having a spotless home is a very low priority for him.  I have found it really hard to let go but as I read my bible I realised laying down my life for Christ, for me meant laying down my wants and desires in this area.  I know that by laying this down and serving my family (whilst feels completely strange) honours God.  In this I can also receive freedom from the burden of keeping things spotless and enjoy what I have, my husband and children.  Seasons change, and one day I'll be in the season where I will have more time for the aesthetics of the home, but for now I need to enjoy and pay attention to this season.

As this feels a bit new for me - learning to enjoy this freedom, I spoke with a lady who I felt has a great balance in the home.  She may describe herself as 'sloppy' but I think she has a great healthy perspective on the home.  I spoke to her about her standards and how its worked out through the week.  This has really helped me to have a new approach to my home, along with lots of prayer and bible reading.

I remember reading once, that we all apparently crave after that perfect home but actually its a craving for God, as one day we will be in His perfect home.

Luke 9:23 And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.