The Easter Break

I hope you all had a fantastic Easter Break! I thought I would blog today about how our Easter break was spent.  I have recently been completely wiped out (virus) so was looking forward to a break from the norm.

Good Friday - We did our readings from the resurrection eggs, we had hot cross buns for lunch and we prayed and reflected on the cross, what it means to us.  We talked about sin, what it means, where it comes from.  Today we were staining the wood for our kids new bed and we went out to eat for dinner as a family.

Saturday - We opened the empty egg and talked about how Jesus followers must have felt.  We were still in reflection mode but we know that Sunday is coming.  We did Easter themed crafts to decorate the house ready for tomorrow. Today Jon and my dad made the boys bed.

Easter Sunday - Celebration day!  Today I was serving in worship so it meant how we normally do Easter Sunday had to change.  The children were still really excited but I had to be at church for 8am so there was no time to prepare beforehand.  Whilst I was helping Jon prepped a sweet dough in the bread maker. We all had a great time at church together.  The children had lots of fun doing various activities and crafts and we had a great time worshipping and hearing from God.  When we got back home, we had a light lunch and made resurrection rolls (we normally have these for breakfast at Easter).  The kids enjoy making the bread and taking their Jesus (marshmallow) dipping him in herbs and oil (melted butter then into the cinnamon and sugar mix) they then wrap him in the dough (the robes) and place in the oven (tomb) for 15mins and then once they have cooled slightly they open them up and see Jesus has risen (marshmallow has melted). I then prepped the lamb dinner and we had an Easter egg hunt.  The boys get Easter eggs from us and the family.  We take it in turns to hide each others eggs, so everyone gets a turn in finding their eggs.  We couldn't do a free for all hunt as the ASD child wouldn't be able to cope.  It all has to be planned and he needs to know what he is getting in advance as he does not like surprises.  This is our normal.  Once dinner has been eaten, they are allowed to choose an egg and eat it all if they wish.  The rest get saved into their sweetie bags (yes they still have sweets and chocs left over from Christmas).  We all sat down and watched a film together.

 

First week of the hols:

L has graduated from a toddler bed and now he shares a triple bunk with his other 2 brothers. Monday we spent finishing off their room and chilling out (we were all quite tired from the day before).

 

Tuesday - Jon was back to work and we did the housework together.  I think its good to teach the boys how to do jobs (yes it would be quicker to do it myself) but they do earn extra computer time if they do it properly and with a good attitude - which they did.  However, come the afternoon I felt like a peacekeeper as fights seemed to break out all the time!

 

Wednesday - Today we celebrated The Zones 1st birthday.  We had a great time at the party with other autistic families.  I feel confident to take the boys here by myself and most of the time its successful... when its not, we are not judged but help is offered.

 

Thursday - My lovely friend helped me take the boys to their dentist apt (it was a rough pre morning) but the visit went well and we went to the park afterwards.

 

Friday - Jon works from home.  Its great to have an extra pair of eyes and hands around.  We decided to have a family BBQ in the afternoon, enjoying the lovely sunshine.

 

The weekend:- I help run The Zone Saturday session and on Sunday Jon served on the PA team at church.  In between this we rested.

 

Week 2:

Monday - Chill out day! Today we did nothing and it was great.  The boys seemed to get on well and spent the day on the trampoline, playing football, colouring in plants v zombie pictures (thanks to free colouring pages from the internet) watching TV, reading and of course their computer time.

 

Tuesday - Housework challenge.  The boys did really well and earned their extra time - only problem was the server went down... luckily they accepted being able to eat from their sweetie bags instead.  I was feeling brave in the afternoon and took them to the park (near our home) by myself - we survived! Might seem odd to some but sometimes these little trips out can end really badly for us.

 

Wednesday - Zone Day.  The boys really enjoy playing games, the go-carts and the bouncy castle. Child number 2 had a moment towards the end but we did get home and had some quiet time to calm down. This is normally the TV.

 

Thursday - We went to Frensham great pond with my lovely friend and helper.  The boys loved playing at the beach and dipping in the water.  They also enjoyed yummy ice-creams, aka bribery to get them to come home.  We also found out J will be going to the same junior school as N is September :)

 

Friday - I took the 3 older boys donutting with The Zone.  We go with The Zone as they hire the whole slope out and I know I will be with others who have similar children.  They normally really enjoy these sessions but child number 2 kicked off before we got going (helmet worries) and child number 1 kicked off during the event, so we had to call it a day. Thankfully Jon works from home on Fridays so it was easier to separate the children and as child 3 (got the brunt of child 1) we made chocolate brownies together, which he loves - well any food, he loves :)

 

So that has been our Easter holidays - I have really enjoyed not getting up early, not remembering who needs what kit on what day for whichever club they are doing, no school pick up juggling acts, no homework battles, fun activities, spending time with my boys, celebrating Easter and the beautiful weather!

 

 

Feeling Treasured

New Year, new post and yes it has been a while since my last post...

 

I have written before about how we celebrate different occasions and thought I would write about how we do the 'grown up' birthdays!

 

The grown ups (being Jon and I) birthdays are just before and just after Christmas.  We have always put in lots of effort for the children's birthdays.  I find it quite easy to be thoughtful and creative for them. Its easier to find a theme and plan parties, buying toys (which are packaged in large boxes) somehow feels more satisfying.  Its exciting to feed off their energy as they look forward to 'their' day. I love being a mother and enjoy marking the occasion of when it all began.  Also that feeling of pride - yes we've parented through another year! I am noticing this gets a bit harder as they get older, as their desires become less but more expensive. 

 

I am not really sure when it happened but as I became older and more children arrived birthdays became less special.  When I was younger, I really looked forward to my birthday with anticipation and excitement.  My parents did a great job at making us feel special.  We were not spoilt with lavish gifts but it was the 'feeling' that I loved and wanted to pass onto my children. 

 

I liked having a winter birthday. It meant I always had money to go out in the sales and if I wished for snow to fall, it sometimes did! As I got a bit older it became a bit more painful as no one wanted to go out (as it's the week after New Years) and no one had any money (again the week after New Years and it was just Christmas).  Then somewhere along motherhood it became put on the side.  I became a bit frustrated with the effort I would put in for them and my own would be forgotten, to the point where I didn't really look forward to it anymore as I would find it disappointing.  I appreciate that this may sound really selfish and no, I don't give to receive but it got to this point. I would receive gifts but it felt like duty, there would be birthday cake (or I would have to go out and get it under the guise of well you can choose the one you want), we may have even gone out but it felt like something we had to get through rather than an expression of love.  I felt un-treasured and taken for granted by my family, whom I love with all my heart. 

 

I wondered what message this sent to our children - did I want my sons to learn that this is how you treat your wife, that when you became older you didn't matter anymore and you just go through the motions to appease others? that birthdays are only for children? If that was it, I would rather just have my birthday in private, as it felt like everything I was trying to achieve in expressing love to my children on the day they were born was being wiped out by the way we chose to celebrate as adults.  Jon and I had a 'discussion' and decided we would raise our game at each others birthdays.  I have to say the last couple of years Jon and the boys have done amazingly well at making me feel treasured on my birthday and I hope Jon would say the same.

 

Jons birthday is in December and I set about a plan to bless him, spent time thinking about what would make him happy an what he would appreciate.  He would always talk about how we wanted the decorations up after his birthday.  I always want to put them up 1st December but this year I thought I would give him what he wanted - after doing this, it turns out he actually does like them up before but we would agree not to discuss or do anything Christmassy on his birthday.   I made him a chocolate birthday cake, bought him some presents and the boys made him cards.  The kids went to school and we had a day together! (Jon took a day holiday) It was great to have some grown up time together. We all celebrated together in the evening with a take away.  It was a chilled out relaxing day - just what Jon loves.  At the weekend we went out to a restaurant and celebrated with family members.

 

For my birthday, it was Sunday and I was on worship team so it meant I had to be up and out the door early, so Jon had prepared a special breakfast for me on Saturday (I love breakfast and he prepared waffles with fresh fruit - my favourite).  After church Jon and the boys had turned the dining room into a restaurant KFDs.  N was my waiter and they had made menu cards. Jon can't cook so it was chicken pieces from the hot counter at Waitrose with crisps and chocolate bites/rocky road pieces from M&S for afters.  The waiter took my order via his remote control car and it was fun.  It was really special as they all got involved and played a part. I received presents and cards, a cake (also from Waitrose) and he had organised a sitter in the evening so we went out to Yo Sushi for dinner.  I really like sushi and really appreciated all their efforts. I felt treasured and it was good to see my family working together whilst having fun with it.  I hope these memories stay with them and that they will build on them when they have their families. So that's how we do the grown up birthdays!

Birthday Time Again

A few weeks have passed since our youngest child's (L) birthday and he is still talking about his special day with a big smile on his face and is full of anticipation for his next birthday.  I love purposefully planting happy memories and love that he was so taken by his day. I enjoy planning my children's birthdays and taking time out to really think about my child, what they would like and how I can make them feel special.  L joining our family was a very special time for us and definitely worthy of a celebration - we are so thankful for him!

 

Typically, we will ask the child what they would like for their birthday - present wise and how they would like to celebrate.  Sometimes they would like a party, other times they want an experience or a meal out.  The birthday child chooses the meals for the day, tells me the cake he'd like and has unlimited computer time (that's the only time, so is very special to them). They are normally busy enjoying other things to be clued to the screen all day anyway.

 

 

 

L chose coco pops for breakfast and party food.  He loves Ben 10, so wanted a Ben 10 cake and party theme.  (He also loves skylanders swapforce).  Personally, I would rather a pirate theme or a younger character but its his day so he gets to chose and I have to accept he's growing up - even though he is just 4.  He really wanted to have a party this year with his friends. This year he has been invited to quite a few friends from preschool parties and has been patiently waiting for his turn.  He didn't have any grand ideas for a party, just that he wanted one.  He doesn't have a massive group of friends so a soft play type of party we ruled out due to numbers and decided to do a party in the garden with a few of his friends and our family.

 

 

 

As I said before, Ben 10 not my favourite but it is L's, parties are a  great time to get really creative.  Pinterest can give you lots of ideas on little touches on the theme to make it stand out.  If you can't make their brilliant ideas or have the time, someone is normally selling the product on Ebay.  I managed to get a great deal on Ben 10 tableware at party pieces so I decided to do that.  I also read Annabell Karmels party planner book and took to making the food as creative as possible (for me).  Sandwiches I made in advance and froze, cupcakes I bought value and then decorated with L, sausages bought precooked but presented in a fun way.  This way I didn't spend ages prepping food.  I made his cake from scratch but bought a paper cake topper of Ben 10 from Ebay.  The running order of the party went:

 

Hello and welcome

Decorating biscuits

Free play - I had football goals and water play table set up in the garden along with balloons and we have a trampoline

Party games - musical chairs (that did not go well - not quite old enough), pin the tail, traffic lights, musical statues and pass the parcel

Food and Cake

After the food, L and his friends played with his toys inside as it was getting too hot outside.

 

 

 

Party bags were simple, cake, balloon, sweets, sticker and a small gift. Party prizes were a sweet from the tin.  It was easy to clear up as they spent most of their time in the garden.  We did the party in the morning and the afternoon, more family came to visit and he opened presents through the day. 

 

Looking forward to the next one!

 

Below is L eating a white chocolate covered marshmallow dipped in sprinkles.

 

My boy is 9!

How quickly the time passes, my eldest child is now 9! He is in almost double figures.... Well actually he was 9 at the beginning of October but only now just caught up :)

 

B has been very excited about his birthday and has told anyone he's had contact with, all about it.  He has been so looking forward to it that I was beginning to worry that he'd be disappointed it wouldn't live up to his expectations! I even sat down with him to find out what exactly he was hoping for - thankfully his tastes are simple and he was really excited and pleased with everything. (Phew!)

 

His birthday fell on a school day, Friday.  He awoke several times in the night and eventually came into us fully dressed for school at about 5am in the morning, complaining of stomach pains.  He was so highly excited/anxious that he worked himself into a state.  Jon laid with him and calmed him and we got up at a more manageable time.  Even though it was a rocky start he had a great day.  He enjoyed his presents (mainly moshi's and lego) and his special breakfast.  He had a good day at school with his friends.  I made him a party packed lunch with his favourite foods in and he chose the dinner and pudding for the day.  He was beaming.

 

This year we decided to do a party for him on the following Saturday.  He's not had a party in quite a few years.  We have had a friend or 2 back for tea or we've done an activity together.  Parties can be hard work when you have ASD as its a lot to process and we didn't think he'd enjoy the traditional party as much.  This year took a small group of friends (10 very excited young boys) and they went to Laserquest in Bournemouth.  As Laserquest has a minimum height requirement, his 2 younger brothers could not attend which meant daddy had to organise and run the party by himself - first time.  I appreciate that Laserquest is noisy with lots of lights etc but its also a game with a purpose, that is played in short bursts with breaks inbetween, which suits our son.  He couldn't manage a day of it but 2 games were plenty for him.

 

They had a great time and we made sure B had low arousal setting for the rest of the afternoon to help him.  I made him a Wurley moshi monster cake, which he was very excited to eat and share with his friends.  My husband did a good job at the party and we had happy children!

 

That's all our childrens birthdays done for this year! Roll on Christmas :)

 

10 Years ago...

Well its certainly been a busy 10 years....

 

Jon and I have been together for 17 years.  We moved down to Bournemouth from our home town when I went to university to study fashion.  We both got jobs in our fields and stayed in the area.  We saved really hard after we graduated for our wedding - Saturday 14th September 2002!

 

It was a beautiful hot sunny day and i enjoyed it so much.  We were married 1pm at Highcliffe Castle and then headed back to Bournemouth Eastcliff for the reception.  I had my sister as my bridesmaid and we had lots of our family to celebrate.

After our wedding we went to Hong Kong, Bali, Singapore and then Thailand on honeymoon.  When we came back, its been busy ever since...

 

In the last 10 years we have bought and moved places (4 times), renovated our home, had 4 children, become Christians and instead of been a career woman in the fashion world I'm now a stay at home mother (which is just so much better) and Jon is working hard to support us (not working in fashion but in data telecoms and networking).

 

On our anniversary, we went back to Highcliffe and walked along the grounds and beaches, took a tour of the castle and went to an art exhibit.  It was textiles and mixed media - My favourite - i loved seeing these pieces and makes me feel so inspired to create, i think it reminds me of my former life and who knows maybe in the future I could do something creative again.  We sat and had lunch there - they have a great selection of homemade cakes, well worth a visit (although parking is a bit extortionate) I had the Dorset apple, warm with clotted cream (delicious).  We then came back and collected the children and family life resumed.

 

There has been lots of ups and downs in the last 10 years and its certainly been a super speedy ride - i wonder what the next chapter will hold....

My Boy J is now 5!!!

Well September has come, my little boy J has now turned 5 and starts school next week....

 

He had a great birthday and this is what we did;

 

Woke up, got ready (washed, teeth and dressed) downstairs to open presents - very exciting when you're 5! especially when you've asked for a chocolate coin maker :)

 

He chose his breakfast - pancakes with fresh fruit with hot chocolate to drink.  Took the older boys to school, picked up party bags and met friends at Giggles.  We stayed there for about 3 hours, had lunch and he had a great time playing.  It was really quiet and he practically had the play centre to himself with his friends. 

 

After lunch we came home and made chocolate coins, then picked up the older children from school.  Played with some more presents, had dinner - J chose cheesy pasta - his favourite.  We waited for daddy to come home and then did the cake - a Lego cake (not my finest creation) however J recognised it as a Lego brick and he was excited, so that's all that matters.  We then finished the day with a very bubbly bubble bath (thanks Becky for the bubble bath gift) and he read a story from his new book (yes surprised me too, as i didn't realise he'd picked up so many words).  He went to sleep quite quickly (as did mummy) as it was a tiring packed full day!

 

I can't quite believe those first 5 years have gone!

My Baby is 2!

Well my youngest is now 2 - i can't quite believe it, where has that time gone? We didn't celebrate it on the actual day (as daddy was working away in London) so we saved it for the weekend.  It was very strange doing nothing on the actual day but at 2 years old we could easily get away with it and daddy really wanted to be part of the celebrations!

We celebrated with lots of presents, cards, Mcdonalds visit and then a trip to Gus Gorillas, Poole Park.  He absolutly loves balls and this play area has the most ball pits.  We had dinner and a Peppa Pig birthday cake (his next big love) - the cake didn't look great but tasted good.  We all enjoyed his special day!

 My Little Baby is a fully fledged Toddler!

My Birthday Boy

Well this week is son number 2s birthday! As previously posted, i have been out buying weapons and this week we have had the pleasure of giving them to him.

N is now 6! He woke early and all the boys managed to get ready and beds made amazingly quickly (much quicker than a normal day) so we could all go downstairs to do presents and share in the special breakfast!  N's choice was fresh fruit with French toast - very yummy. I made him a special packed lunch for school complete with birthday message and a chocolate muffin. He had sweets to hand out at the end of the day for his school friends. For dinner he chose cheesy pasta - his favourite - and i made moshi monster cupcakes for his birthday (Its Blingo, Diavlo, Tiamo, Penny and Jeepers).  He received lots of presents and phone calls from family.

The weekend was N's party day.  Nanny and Grandad came to visit and we went to Monkey Business - which is where we held his party.  I have done lots of parties at home and originally this was the plan - however as the date drew closer, the idea of entertaining 30 school children became a bit overwhelming. We have been so busy in clearing up and repairing after the flood, house jobs have taken up all our spare time so were feeling in need of a rest.  So decided a few close friends to a play centre, that takes care of everything, would be a lot less stressful.  It also meant his birthday continued on a bit longer and he got to choose a party cake.  He really liked J's sweetie cake so we decided on a chocolate version.

We don't always do parties for our children.  We celebrate in different ways.  For N we had done a few family parties and last year we had the opportunity to go to Eurodisney for his birthday.  This year we decided a friends party at a soft play centre because we like to celebrate, he likes it there and his brothers have had a few friends party - so felt it was N's turn. He had a great time.  We had a relaxing afternoon whilst Noah opened his presents and later we went out to dinner with Nanny and Grandad.  We went to Frankie and Bennies and they did a little brownie cake with candle and sung 'Happy Birthday'.

I believe he felt very special and has had lots of fun.  I enjoy celebrating their birthdays - our children are a special gift and i like them to know they are precious and special to us.  Its not possible for us to do this all the time, so i enjoy planning the special occasions for them - anyway Christians should be having the most fun as we have a great reason! 

Weapons with grace and love!

Well it will soon be son number 2s birthday! I am a bit behind in preparations this year with regards to presents so i took a morning visit to Toys r us.  I asked my son what he would like for his birthday and he informed me 'I'd really like some more weapons and a light sabre'  This is so 'not' me.  With my shopping trolley of weaponry, I saw a little book that I would have really enjoyed playing with as a young girl.  It was a cut out paper doll dress up in bridal theme - fills all my girly passions and delights.  However this would fill my sons with complete disgust!

I was there looking at all these different guns, cross bows and swords, trying to determine which will be the most fun and not poke out too many eye balls or cause too much devastation in the home - thinking about how I arrived here.  He really wants to be a spy and loves the notion of good verses evil.  He likes to play superhero and is very much a boys boy in terms of how he plays.  He also has a very soft and loving side, which is not so easily seen - as he's running around bustling with energy at being a superhero! But he is really sensitive and considerate to others - he may not always show this in the best way but it is there. He enjoys hugs and kisses, they just come with heaps of energy and squeezes. 

I remembered back to when i had my first child and how different my opinions about boys and how they should be raised were. I was raising my son vegetarian and how much I hated superhero and gun type toys. I did not want to raise a violent over-active child and felt this type of play was the cause. I thought it would numb their mind towards violence and make them insensitive.  I wanted a son that would quietly play and be interested in a wide range of (what i deemed suitable) activities.  Well I soon came to realise, in raising my sons, I do not get to choose who they are - yes we guide them as parents but God has chosen them and made them who they are. I do not want to be an over controlling mother (believing i am author of their souls) by not allowing Gods design and potential to be reached.  We now all eat meat (in fact its getting them to eat the veggies that can be harder) and have learned to accept boys (mainly son number 2) really enjoy being superhero and actually they get a lot of joy from these games.  I can see their moral compass, their need for justice and helping others through their play.  I know they need lots of energy and will eventually learn how to harvest that for their careers/future/daily lives. 

I do not know the plans God has for my children but through them I have learnt to humble my opinions and submit them to God.  Through my sons i have learnt more about men and biblical masculinity.  I have learnt and read more about this, so I can understand and raise them up to be men of God.  Its also helped me to appreciate and understand my husband more.  Jon is more than happy to play the rough and tumble games, enjoys a game of Nerf wars, to him it is natural - for me i need to learn.  Also I have learnt its not their toys that matter or influence the type of person they will become.  I am learning more about parenting and how playing is very important but just a small part of a much bigger picture.  So although I would really like to get son number 2 some more 'appropriate educational' toys, I am at the checkout buying an array of weaponry - a machine gun or 2, with grace and love.

Birthday time again!

My little J is 4! I love planning and thinking about my childs birthday.  I really enjoy celebrating the day they were born, remembering what precious gifts they are!

J decided he would like to go to the beach for his birthday, with family and just a couple of friends.  We hired a beach hut, prayed for good weather and had a great day.

In our family, we ask the birthday child what present they would like, how they would like to celebrate their birthday, the cake they would like and they get to choose the meals for the day.  This is our tradition.  The boys always look forward to it.  As Jon was working away we chose to celebrate J's birthday on the weekend.  We opened presents and decorated the house with banners and balloons (decorating the house has also become part of the tradition).  He wanted a sweetie cake so I made one for him.  Birthday child chooses/helps design their birthday cake.  We had a great day, we built sandcastles, collected shells and played in the freezing water followed by some birthday treats and cakes in the hut.

On the actual day, J opened all his cards and a couple of presents we had saved for him.  He chose the breakfast (malties sprinkled with jelly babies) and we all prayed thanks for him and told him something we loved about him.  Thankfully he chose a normal lunch and we had cheesey pasta for dinner (the current boys favourite meal) We made a chocolate cake in the afternoon which he had for pudding, along with the traditional candles.  He went to bed feeling really loved which is what we wanted to achieve. Its not about expensive gifts or elaborate parties, just simple fun and love!

Royal Fun

Well living in a house full of boys, watching the Royal wedding meant I had to plan it out...  The way to my boys hearts is their tummy! We woke up early and kept reminding them that we were watching history in the making! We made our own flags and decorated princely crowns.  Just before the actual wedding, the boys dressed up as princes and I dressed up as a princess (put on my wedding dress).  The boys were most interested in playing camps in my dress but I did get to watch it in peace - ish.  I loved it, beautiful ceremony, beautiful day.

After the wedding, we had a cream tea.  N loves cucumber sandwiches just like me, so it was nice to share in this with him whilst the others had jam.  The boys loved the scones with cream and jam.  Jon and I were able to talk to our sons about marriage and share with them our special day.  Its fun to create memories for our children and we hope they'll look back in years to come at this event fondly...