Friday, 13 February 2015

Valentines Day!

Almost Valentines Day and the shops are filled with hearts, cards with overpriced chocolates and flowers.  Restaurants are smiling as they get to charge extra and can expect increased bookings as couples head out for a night of romance. Pretty much everything red, pink or has a heart on it can expect an increase of profit.  This one day of the year, males feel obliged to show their love in romancing their other halves by purchasing the above gifts, all wonderfully presented to you by the power of consumerism.  This year though, we have the release of '50 shades of Grey' in the cinema, so instead of being just about romance, it can now be all about sex too - who's having the best sex and what can be purchased in order to help facilitate it.  This year there seems to be an increase in the amount of sex cards for Valentines.  I was shocked when I went into card factory and saw that display.  I will not be purchasing a 'you make me so wet' card for my husband - its not that I don't want to have sex with my husband, I just don't want that conversation with my children or have that displayed on the side in my house for any guests/family that may visit!  Apparently even B&Q/DIY stores are prepping their staff in the sales of cable ties and duct tape as the new romantic gift and are looking forward to welcoming in 'the 50 shades inspired' customers.
Whilst I may come across as cynical or you maybe thinking 'oh her husband doesn't get her a card' I actually like Valentines day.  I am happy to have any excuse to show my husband and children that I love them! Last year, I gave each of my boys a little poem and chocolates and my husband a card and gift too.  I want our children to see that we love each other and them too.  I am equally delighted when I receive flowers, chocolates, well any gifts of affection.  I appreciate the thought and the time that goes into it.  I include my children in Valentines day as to me it is about love.  If Valentines day is about sex/romance for you, then I can understand that it may seem weird to include your children.  This is the perception I used to have but as I get older, I learn more about love.  I want them to feel loved and know how treasured they are in a non sexual way - that they do not need a girlfriend in order to experience love or be loved.  I want them to see their dad love me and vice versa, in a romantic, treasured way throughout our marriage.  I would hate for them to think of love as just sex and that romance is just for new relationships. Who knows, in a few years time maybe one of them will blog about their mum being weird and getting them valentines stuff!
It is important to love one another everyday, however I don't always show it in the big gestures.  I get caught up in the everyday and I show my love for them in the little things (they may not always see it) but this is the love that counts - the building blocks.  I am there for them, I 'do' for them, I am there for the happy, sad, telling off, joyful, the mundane times.  I don't spontaneously buy/do love gifts for them on a day to day basis (gifts are not my love language).  Therefore, I find it easier to be purposeful (ie bigger gestures) on set days ie Valentines or anniversaries.  So whilst I have heard and no doubt will see status about how consumerist/empty it all is, that we shouldn't be told to be romantic/love as then it is meaningless, actually sometimes I need this and I am not ashamed to admit it.  It does not mean I don't love them or that I will be buying all the stuff but it does mean I will be taking some time out to think about the ones I love, what their love language is and how I can show them I love them this weekend. 

This year, I am planning on keeping it simple, as have not been too well recently.  For the boys, I will give them each a piece of scripture, just for them with an affirming note along with some chocolate (if you have met my boys, you know that they always appreciate food) and for my husband, a card, put the kids to bed early, a relaxed dinner for us with a nice bottle of wine...

Happy Valentines!! xxx

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