After I had my 3rd son, God revealed his calling to me. His calling for me, is to be a wife and mother. Well that may seem obvious to you, who have been following my blog but it wasn't obvious to me until then.
I loved being a wife and mother but I didn't understand Gods design or purpose in what I was doing. I didn't really place a high value on my role in the home. I loved my children, that wasn't the question but I was always looking to the next step, wondering what God would call me too, what occupation I would next pursue. Having been surrounded by worldly values, I never really thought that being a mother on its own would be enough, I thought that I would also need to pursue a career at the same time. I felt dissatisfied. I remember calls with my dad asking when I was going to go back to work, what I'd do, feeling as if being at home as a wife and mother is just being lazy or taking the easy option.
When J was about 18mths, our church started to introduce small study groups for women. We worked through Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. It is full of insight and godly training for women. It was such an eye opener to me as I had no idea on my role or its importance in Gods eyes. The book itself is not easy reading. It made me tearful, angry and insulted, at times. These studies were hard to accept. I went on their website - girltalk and researched them. I think secretly hoping to find fault with them to discredit their teaching... However I found them to be Godly women, passionate for Jesus and happy to serve. The teachings are based on scripture. I choose to work through these studies as truth and re-evaluate my 'truths'. I have been so blessed by this and have grown so much with God because I did not dismiss the things I did not like hearing. Through this God turned my dis-satisfaction into hunger for more of God. God also showed me that I was created and called to be a mother, as He had blessed me with marriage and children. He also revealed how as Christians we are to be different from the world.
I started to get excited about what I could do for my husband and family. How I can glorify God in being a woman. I really thought and prayed over this. I enjoy researching and studying, so this book opened the way to many more books... It is the beginning of lots of projects. I really enjoy thinking about a member of my family and planning to bless them. Through this I have learnt practically too, as they all seem to love food I have improved my baking/cooking (also found I really enjoy it) Being my husbands helper and mother to my children, through Gods eyes has really helped me to find fulfillment in what I do. I am no longer thinking about my next career or business venture. I am truly happy where I am. God was able to show me the difference of (being wife and mother) in my own way and being called to be a Godly wife and mother. Every now and then when I start to feel fed up, I now see it as a warning sign that I am doing things on my own rather than for God (sometimes of course it just means I need a break!). It reminds me of the truth of my calling, how precious and worthwhile it is. I am so thankful, as always, of His amazing love and grace.