We have been living in our house, 4 years this December. We bought it as a 'project'- we were going to turn this house into the perfect home for our family. However anyone who has done a restoration project, with a large family and a full time job, will know that - things always go wrong, it takes a lot longer and costs more.
The house had been used for residents with mental health problems, living on their own in the community. Each floor had communal kitchen and 3 bedrooms with en-suites. There was a communal lounge downstairs. The house has now been converted back to a home, study, hall, lounge, kitchen/diner and playroom. 3 bedrooms and one family bathroom. We were almost completed and then we had to stop to re-do the bathroom (due to problems with the bath taps which we discovered are irreplaceable). Not mentioning the garden.... The list is never ending. Also we have been living in this house for almost 4 years now the things we had restored are now due a 'tidy up' and general maintenance is required.
When we first bought the house, I loved the idea of turning it into a home. I loved the design and shopping elements, I love knowing the house in its most basic state. However, the reality of it all is really hard and emotional. 4 years on and I would just love a completed, normal, house. I would love our money and time to be spent on something else! The house is also my workplace, so I never escape it. It feels as soon as one room is done it has been straight onto the next, whether its physically doing it or saving. It has become an obsession and an idol.
I know wanting a completed house, in itself, is not a bad thing, but when that's the only thing you do and think about it, it is an act of worship - it becomes an idol. The house had become an idol for me. In learning to be more disciplined and godly I needed to put this down to rest.
At Westpoint, a man prophesied 'have faith to lay down your posessions' if I am to step away from our culture perceptions and follow Godly values, I need to step away from this obsession. I came away and wrote down everything I wanted possession wise and everything I wanted done in the house. I then prayed over all of this and lifted it to God. I asked for forgiveness and for freedom to lay this down. Gods Holy Spirit has really helped me. I know that God has more planned for us, than how our house is presented. I know God wants more for us than to spend our time and finances on the house. As Matthew Hosier said to me 'In 500 years will your house still be standing, will it really of mattered?' I do find this hard to let go but there is a difference in looking after what you have been blessed with and letting it become obsessional. Each time I get the feeling I maybe picking it back up, I re-read the notes from westpoint, pray and return to the cross. I need freedom from this.
I'm looking forward to the new - A house which is not held higher than God but a place where we serve God, and is looked after accordingly.
Exodus 20:4 "You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6but showing steadfast love to thousands[b] of those who love me and keep my commandments.
No comments:
Post a Comment