Monday, 11 April 2011

When 2 becomes 3

After we were married, a few months later we decided to try for a baby. We conceived the first month. I remember doing the test and lying in bed excited, nervous, hopeful yet fearful we might miscarry and couldn't wait to start growing a bump!

I think we were quite naive about what having a baby would mean to our lives, we were not prepared for our world to be turned upside down - yet it was so amazing.

At about 6 weeks in I had the most awful sickness and this continued right up to about 19/20 weeks.  I could not do anything without throwing up, at one point just sipping water would mean throwing up.  Also we did not have a scan until 19 weeks as I was considered too young to have a 12 week scan back then.  I think the sickness helped me to know it was 'real' as having a later scan.  I felt the baby move at 16 weeks and I remember buying my first pair of maternity jeans - I was so excited and I think the excitement is what got us through the early weeks of pregnancy.

We were in a one bed flat so needed to move, this was quite stressful as we decided to buy and it was a long process due to land registry having borderlines incorrect.  We ended up moving a month and a half before I was due.  We were so preoccupied with moving and just coping with being pregnant that we didn't necessarily read loads of baby books, we just figured we'd learn on the job.  Jons older sisters gave us their baby stuff so we didn't need to really buy anything.  I loved watching my growing body and indulged in resting, eating and planning the nursery.  I loved decorating and planning the schemes for our nursery.  I loved getting out all the little baby stuff and organising it all.  We were so excited to have the baby and had done all the classes.

The labour was really hard.  B was back to back and his heart rate kept dipping.  I had to be transferred by ambulance to a different hospital so I could be monitored.  The labour was really long and painful but B was delivered safely 29 hours after i started.  It was an amazing feeling of euphoria holding our newborn in our arms, such an overwhelming love.  He was perfect.

B was a difficult baby.  He was born tongue tied and eventually had the operation at 5 months.  He also had the horrendous colic and would scream for hours.  None of which I was prepared for.  I remember thinking I wanted a natural birth and wanted to breastfeed.  I had no idea that complications during labour and the intense pain would mean something else.  That breastfeeding would not be as simple and as easy as they claimed.  It was quite a shock to the system, yet I could hold and stare at him for hours in wonder.  Just like pregnancy where you notice every little twinge, we noticed and picked up on everything he did.  I couldn't imagine life without him or what life was like before.  Just like pregnancy the time seemed to pass really slowly as we just wanted the next stage to come (not in a horrible way but because we were so excited to see him grow).  I found the early baby stage very hard and I felt much more relaxed and enjoyed him more from 6months plus.  He was weaned and so feeding was no longer a battleground and he kept doing more and more things.  At this point, I had met a few more mums and had a good support network of friends close by.  I had PND with B and by now I was on the correct dose which made life easier to cope.

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